Happier times:
Friday, January 16, 2009
Downhill
Betsy Shaw over at Momformation once described bedtime at her house as a 'crescendo of overstimulation.' That is an extremely apt description of the long, progressive meltdown that accompanies going to bed over here. Lately Matt puts Evan to sleep and promptly falls asleep himself, while Ethan and I putter around downstairs and read some books, then catch The Daily Show. All very peaceful, even through the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd trips to the potty and the discussion of chocolate milk versus water. Eventually the reality of bedtime hits, and Ethan's face contorts into the first step of a particularly annoying 'ooooohh-aahhhhh' tantrum. And after he is snuggled in bed, my patience starts to disintegrate at the same rate his system is revving up. More requests for drinks and trips to the potty and wails of I don't wike to go to bed/beds do not feel good for me/ahhhhhhhh. After a while I start snapping, then escalate to increasingly shrill threats til we finally collapse in tear-streaked exhaustion. Last night Matt deemed this Unacceptable and marched both boys up the stairs at 9pm. He and Evan fell asleep, and Ethan started his routine 2 hours early. Total fail, and a very crappy ending to what was a surprisingly awesome day. Even though it was our second straight day stuck inside due to frigid temps, we had a lot of fun playing dress-up, hide & seek, building forts, coloring, "shkooping" with the many pieces of heavy equipment they accumulated at Christmas, singing & dancing, etc etc. The boys even played together occasionally while I rounded up paperwork to do taxes. So does the fun and trauma balance each other out? Or since it all ended on such a sour note, will yesterday be remembered as a bad day? Or since the kids are happily shkooping right now as I type this, is the heartache forgotten and no long-term damage done? I'll go with that one.
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6 comments:
I wish I had some sure-fire advice for you about bedtime. The only thing I know to stick to is routine, and you already know that. I do know we had some pretty miserable bedtimes, and so far no one has gone to a therapist over it --- unless it is such deep-seated horror it hasn't surfaced... oh no! Hang in there. I do know Nick went from our bed to Emily's, to Tim's. He was quite old before he thought he could sleep alone...
Now he is 14 and never has any trouble sleeping! I know - no comfort there.
Right now it's just as bad if I put him in our bed- but last week HE was the easy one to get to sleep, and Evan was the screamer. So I'm sure it will be different again soon. Hopefully different and better.
Yikes - I KNOW that routine well! It does seem to go in phases.
We were having a HORRIBLE time with Chase's bedtime for a while there... shortly after he turned three.... I HATE to tell how we remedied it........
BUT - we eliminated daily naps (cringe, I know.) BUT, he was sooooo exhausted that he was always right to sleep at bed time. It might be worth a shot???????? (He still gets 1-2 naps a week... when he NEEDS it or pushes me to the edge of insanity!)
PS. - I LOVE Betsy Shaw..... she is the first blogger I started following. I sooo admire her writing!!!!!
I wonder that sometimes too, if the bad bedtime thing cancels out the good day - let's go with NO on that. (hopefully)
Faith, who is now three and should be easier with the whole bedtime thing, is the one who stays up until 10 or 11 EASY. We had to cut out naptimes to make sure she was sleepy enough at night and even the days without naps doesn't always mean an easy bedtime. Encouraging, aren't I?
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